For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12

I'm not in a good place right now. Do you ever have the feeling that you're being attacked by a spiritual force? about a month ago i found myself in an amazing place: so much of my life was falling into place, my new counsellor and i were making tremendous headway, i felt a happier, more complete person than i ever have before. so i knew i'd have a comedown and i did. nothing out of the ordinary, just a little dip. i could cope, i knew it would pass and it's fine to not be on top of the world all the time.

but over the past few weeks there have just been small things. a plate broke. a ring went missing. i fell and cut my arm rather badly. i cracked my favourite breakfast bowl. i fell down stairs. another ring disappeared. the dentist told me i have to get a filling redone. i fell down stairs again...you get the picture? nothing really out of the ordinary and certainly interspersed with good things, but added together in such a short space of time they build up, wear you down and then, yesterday, a bag with all my coursework from this year disappeared. and when i say disappeared i mean was (most likely) stolen. this is two days before i'm supposed to hand in an essay. at this point you really start to wonder who has it in for you. and then you realise your passport was in that bag.

so, yeah, i've pretty much reached breaking point. things could get worse. a lot worse. but i'd really rather they didn't. so, i don't know how many people read this and i'll be impressed if even two of the people who watch me make it all the way to this point, but if you have, thanks for giving me that time and please, if you're a prayerful sort of person, please pray for me. thankyou.


i'll make the next journal a nice one. and ~illyria-godking, i haven't forgotten the feature journal thing, it's still sitting there in my inbox and will happen. just so's you know.