Not now.

My grandad died yesterday.

It's just not fair.

Also, my laptop's called in sick. I'm thinking of baking a carrot cake. Felicia Day can just about make me smile [link]

Faith, you're driving me away
You do it everyday
You don't mean it
But it hurts like hell

My brain says I'm receiving pain
A lack of oxygen
From my life support
My iron lung

We're too young to fall asleep
Too cynical to speak
We are losing it
Can't you tell?

We scratch our eternal itch
A twentieth century bitch
And we are grateful for
Our iron lung

Suck, suck your teenage thumb
Toilet trained and dumb
When the power runs out
We'll just hum

This, this is our new song
Just like the last one
A total waste of time
My iron lung

And if you're frightened
You can be frightened
You can be, it's OK

~Radiohead

ps. I'm 24 now.

Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love.

~Wikipedia [link]

Just watched this truly awesome mash-up, showing what would happen if Buffy met Edward Cullen (from Twilight) [link] I can't help but think Buffy's approach to dealing with the situation is rather healthier than Bella's. Despite it involving killing. If you have the time and inclination, here's a discussion of the vid: [link]

On an entirely different note: i have seriously cute new shoes [link] (the red ones)


--
update my budget-book
hoover my room regularly
go shopping in Camden
rewrite Glass House as a waltz
finish 'new' song Fox and Cat (with band)
sew dress pattern (from last summer)
create an orange dress (i've had the material for 2 years now )
make a River dress--proving trickier than i thought it would
turn 24
think of a topic for my final year dissertation
get a job (maybe)
record with WtCDi
experiment with effects on Squirrel (my keyboard) and feedback
learn to play violin (involves getting my hands on a violin first)
obtain a violin--i've borrowed one from uni for the summer
watch season 1 of Stargate: SG1--bring on season 2
buy a new bra that actually fits (honestly, the amount of trouble this is proving to be, you'd think i was a strange shape: there is nothing wrong with my body thankyou very much! grr.)--yay for M&S
fix my dreamcatcher (it keeps letting bad dreams through atm)
finish 'new' song Pretty Fragile
tidy my room
watch all of Battlestar Galactica
adapt Discordant for Symphonic Rock Orchestra
finish adapting BoRhap for SRO
rehearse and gig lots with WtCDi
get Squirrel fixed (the middle C's broken)--it even arrived back in time for the WtCDi gig yesterday
get Robin (my guitar) insured
sort out the house contract for next year
fix my little black bag
learn to listen to the layers in music
improve my guitar playing by playing on Robin regularly
hang out with my friends
be part of a research group at uni investigating improvisation--sounds like my tutors are having some trouble getting this together...

But here comes a gale
A crippling anger
Sea birds are blown
Into the rocks
Grace is lost to thunder

~Patrick Wolf (i'm utterly in love with his music atm)

i've added some new music to my personal Myspace account myspace.com/emilyrowantree. You can have a listen if you like

i keep half waking up in the early hours of the morning with the vague feeling the key to sorting out various things in my life is within my reach. Yesterday i wrote an entire song (lyrics and music) in my sleep. Of course when i wake properly both the solutions and songs are gone.

update my budget-book
hoover my room regularly
go shopping in Camden
rewrite Glass House as a waltz
finish 'new' song Fox and Cat (with band)
sew dress pattern (from last summer)
create an orange dress (i've had the material for 2 years now )
make a River dress
turn 24
think of a topic for my final year dissertation
get a job (maybe)
record with WtCDi
experiment with effects on Squirrel (my keyboard) and feedback
learn to play violin (involves getting my hands on a violin first)
obtain a violin--i've borrowed one from uni for the summer
watch season 1 of Stargate: SG1
buy a new bra that actually fits (honestly, the amount of trouble this is proving to be, you'd think i was a strange shape: there is nothing wrong with my body thankyou very much! grr.)--yay for M&S
fix my dreamcatcher (it keeps letting bad dreams through atm)
finish 'new' song Pretty Fragile
tidy my room
watch all of Battlestar Galactica
adapt Discordant for Symphonic Rock Orchestra
finish adapting BoRhap for SRO
rehearse and gig lots with WtCDi
get Squirrel fixed (the middle C's broken)--it even arrived back in time for the WtCDi gig yesterday
get Robin (my guitar) insured
sort out the house contract for next year
fix my little black bag
learn to listen to the layers in music
improve my guitar playing by playing on Robin regularly
hang out with my friends
be part of a research group at uni investigating improvisation